after a long time of rest i decide to blog again..not that i have anything constructive to say but because of the terribly miserable life that i am going through right now( which i believe, is experienced by most j2)
looking at all the people who are having fun in school and life, i realized that i had missed lots of good times. regrets?too late to think about that and i just have to focus and move on. however, saying is easier than done. When i think back sometimes(ya ..i just got through my 19th birthday..makes me kind of an old man now) i think that i am a pure loser. everyone is getting gf nowadays and it's kind of pressurizing for a guy who had just turned 19. o well love cannot be forced after all so i just pass on that. everyone is mugging and mugging and mugging, but mugging with friends. while i, being a loner, cannot even as a single human being to go out and had resort to mug with scolfield and mr t bag.
the only happy moments that i have got for the pass month is the day when someone actually remembers and celebrated my birthday.for the whole life(so far) i had never celebrated my birthday with anyone before. maybe i was just trying to put up this strong front that i am independent and there is no need for others to care about me.in fact, i think i am pretty weak, emotionally. call me a wimp if you want to but i am a human after all. like what jq said, even superman is scared of cryptonite.
here i am trying to cheer someone up, and pissing at myself on the other hand. i don't know what's wrong with me man, really don't.i get stressed up easily these days and it is quite unusual for me to scold and shout at somebody whom i thought could be my friend, over certain minute issues.maybe it is a stage that everyone had to put through but i find it tough to take it alone.
the world is a stage, and all humans are merely players.if there is a chance to, i rather choose a duet in the this play.
